What is the role of a mediator for divorce?
Many families are looking for an easier way to get divorced instead of spending lots of money and long hours sitting around in court. Mediation might be the right choice for you.
A mediator’s role is to help facilitate a dialogue between both parties. The mediator does not represent either party and cannot tell you what you should or should not do. With that being said, a mediator is there to answer questions and explain what goes into the Separation or Divorce agreement that you will need to get divorced.
The role of the mediator is to explain the law regarding alimony, child custody, child support, where can I take the parenting class if I have children, division of assets, debt, tax deductions going forward and answer questions on any aspect of the process or parts of the agreement that is relevant to your agreement. If you own a business or businesses or have other investments such as real estate, parties may jointly decide on an appraiser or bring someone into the mediation to discuss valuation. While it may be one document, these categories have different rules and regulations. For instance, decisions regarding your children can merge or be changed, and decisions regarding property division survive or can’t be changed. Yes, there are always some exceptions, but this is for the most part.
Basically, in mediation, we are working as a team. We begin by signing a mediation agreement. The parties and the mediator sign the agreement. This is part of the statute and protects confidentiality. The mediator may start the mediation by creating an agenda. The first meeting usually gives the parties time to express their interests and goals for the mediation. The mediator will talk about and remind parties to talk respectfully and listen carefully when each member of the mediation team is speaking. The mediator will give you some tips on listening which is not so easy to do if you are thinking about your interests. The mediator after each meeting will create follow up notes and send to the parties. The parties can review and make any comment if needed.
During the first meeting, the parties and mediator will talk about the agenda and a date for the next meeting. The meetings happen when everyone is available to meet. There is no rush, and usually, mediators who do not have a litigation practice can be scheduled rather quickly. The mediator is there to explain and assist however much, or little the parties may need. The mediator will keep track of the progress, and when the parties have covered all the issues for the Separation or Divorce Agreement, an outline or review will usually occur. If the parties have reached an agreement on most or all the aspects for the agreement, the mediator, if an attorney, can create a draft agreement. The Agreement is a document that is filed with the court that contains the decisions that the parties have jointly decided.
After the draft is created, parties will review the draft at home. The mediator will encourage you to read and reread the document several times to make sure you understand and mark up the document with any questions you make have. If the parties have reviewing attorneys, they will have their reviewing attorneys review before meeting again to resolve any questions or unresolved sections of the agreement.
Once the draft is a final document, there are a number of other documents that the mediator can create for the parties. These documents are procedural, and the mediator will explain these documents along with filing the documents in court.
While all mediators are different as no family is the same, this is an example of what you can expect from the mediator in mediation.
